I Stripped My Way Through College

Well, no, I didn't...but I got your attention now, didn't I? Actually, I was in the city yesterday and happened to notice this guy walking along the sidewalk with a big thought cloud over his head that said "I stripped my way through college." No joke, it's true -- undoubtedly part of some very interesting ad campaign (it was a cut-out of a thought cloud mounted to a post that was strapped to the guy's chest), though by the time I could see the flip side of the thought cloud I couldn't make out the name of the company or campaign.

My first thought was Wow, I WISH I'd had the body to strip my way through college. Then I thought that actually, what I really wished was that I had the body image to be able to do that. Then I saw another guy with a thought cloud over his head that said: "I think that I am ugly." That really got me thinking... body image is such an interesting thing. There are a lot of things about my body that I am not happy with; I can think of ten things easy, right off the top of my head. But Dave, my husband, will look at me like I've got two heads if I mention any of them: "What do you mean? I think you look great." (Of course, one might say he is playing exactly the right card when faced with such a loaded comment.)

My point, though, is that body image is such a subjective thing. Why is it that when we look at ourselves, it is like looking into a fun house mirror? The image is completely distorted, and nothing like what the person standing next to us sees when he or she looks at us. And why, I wonder, does that body image have to be so closely tied to weight, or to fitting into size xyz pants? Distorted body image is what drives so many of us to crash diet, imbibe all sorts of "miracle" weight-loss concoctions, and at its worst is at the heart of depression, anorexia, bulimia and a host of other disorders. None of which is healthy.

Now, I can't change everyone's opinion of their own bodies, or how they choose to deal with it... but I can change my own. For my own sake, and for that of my daughter. More than the weight, more than fitting into those size 6 (or, dare I say it, size 4?) jeans, more than even eliminating the spare tire around my belly or the jiggle in my arms, I want to learn to feel as confident in my body as I imagine a stripper might. And I want to feel that way regardless of whether I "fix" any of the things I currently see "wrong" with my body. I want to feel that way because I am healthy, and active, and strong, and content. To do this, it's going to take more than simply changing my eating habits and exercising. It's going to take some real introspection, and a lot of mental work.

So for me, "Walking the Beach" is taking on more meaning than I originally thought. While I will continue to muse about my food choices and building healthy habits, I see it also becoming a journey of self-discovery that I didn't exactly anticipate. I am excited to see where it will take me!