Saturday, January 31, 2009

Notes from the Underbelly

It's been a rough week, and I'm just now starting to get my bearings again. I did notice one thing about myself this week, though: when things get rough, I close up shop and hide. I don't think that's working for me anymore. In the past, I might have kept myself closed off for weeks, even months; but this time it only lasted a few days. I hope that's a good sign.

I was able to stay on plan, though it was harder for me this week. I just found myself less prepared, and less motivated. I'm glad that I made it through, but I did learn a few things that I'd like to share -- some tactical, some more philosophical, but all equally important in my book.

1. I need to work on my meal planning skills. I can have all of the food in the world on hand, but it doesn't help me if it's in the freezer come dinner time.

2. I can't let external things like job angst distract me from my goals. A bad job, a recession, an annoying person... they all come and go. But my body (and mind, I hope) are going to be with me for a lifetime.

3. I have to remember that my daughter is watching me. I know that she is only six months old right now, but she is a sponge -- and will only become spongier as time goes on. I want to set a good example for her, because I know that someday, the way I react to things might be the way she reacts to them.

4. I cannot become complacent. Every day, I need to reset my resolve, remind myself that success does not come on autopilot. Just because I have been doing well so far does not mean that I do not have to work at it; the minute I forget that, I will start to slide.

5. I am not doing this in a vacuum. I have made connections with family, friends (old and new) and even strangers who are all supporting me in this endeavor. And I hope that I am supporting them, as well. This is one more thing that I have to remind myself of every day, because these connections are a very important part of living a "whole" life, and it goes beyond just losing weight or eating healthy. These connections are there to make me stronger, and they have so far proven to be far better than the isolation I mentioned earlier.

So this week was somewhat humbling, but the best thing I can do right now is learn from it, and put those lessons into action. I'm picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back into the race.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Water: The Drinking Game

Drinking enough water is one of the most important things you can do. Probably the most important thing. Sufficient hydration allows your body to do what it needs to do more efficiently; it cleanses; it fills you up (did you know that a lot of times when we think we are hungry, we are actually thirsty?); it makes you feel good. There is really no good reason NOT to drink plenty of it.

I say this after I just chugged a 16-ounce glass of water, my first of the day. At two in the afternoon. Clearly, I'm having a hard time. We have a water cooler just three steps from where I sit, just staring at me, and I'm still struggling to get a decent amount of water in.

So, I'm inventing a new drinking game that will guarantee I get in my daily water requirement... and then some.

In the spirit of those oh-so-fun party games from my youth, I will have to drink (water) every time...
...I refresh my browser on Facebook or iVillage.
...I complain about how cold it is outside.
...Rachael Ray says "delish" or "E.V.O.O." on Food Network.
...my dogs whine to be let outside.
...my dogs bark to come inside.
...the phone rings.
...the boiler kicks on.
...I check my email (work and personal).
...the dogs bark at something outside (real or imaginary).
...I take a sip of coffee.
...one of the baby's toys makes a noise.
...I go to the bathroom (this will up the ante significantly as the day wears on).

I'll let you know how that goes.

Four Weeks Down, a Lifetime to Go

I've just completed four weeks on the Beach (two weeks Phase I "detox" and two weeks on Phase II, the weight-loss phase), and I am feeling really good! And it's only the beginning. The thing about building healthy eating habits is, it's a lifetime commitment. Unlike dieting, which is often associated with deprivation as a means to an end (a goal weight) and therefore only undertaken for a finite amount of time, healthy eating is meant to be maintained over the course of one's life. Dieting is a sprint; healthy eating, a marathon.

I think that "dieting" is the reason that so many people "fail" in their weight loss attempts. They either deprive themselves of so much that they can't maintain the pace long enough to reach their weight loss goal, or they make it to their ideal weight and then think that it's okay to go back to the way they used to eat...and put the weight right back on, and then some.

Healthy eating is a long-term lifestyle change that, first and foremost, is meant to keep you healthy. The weight loss is just a bonus, a side effect.

Anyone who has ever run a marathon (I have - there I am, Vancouver Marathon 1998!) knows that you don't just suddenly start running 26.2 miles right off the bat. You have to train. A lot. You have to start small, and slowly work your way up. The same holds true with healthy eating. Make one small change at a time, and build up. For example, you don't have to completely cut out carbs from your diet; but if you're eating french fries every day, start by only treating yourself to french fries once a week. Then work from there.

Another thing about marathons: they are as much mental as they are physical. Changing habits, such as with healthy eating, are much the same. You are probably used to grabbing those fries every day; it's become a habit. But also, your body became used to having those fries every day, and it's become a craving. Or, to put it another way -- how many times have you said "I don't have the willpower" or simply "I can't do it" (I can't even begin to count mine)? Overcoming those doubts has to happen first, before you can even begin to work toward those 26-plus miles, or toward that healthy lifestyle. I truly believe that I was mentally ready to begin this journey, and that is why it is working so well for me now.

I figure if I can run a marathon, I can do this. And every day, I need to reaffirm this commitment to myself, because I plan to be in it for the long haul.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "You must do the things you think you cannot do." She also said: "Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product."

I'm really starting to believe her.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Twenty-Five Random Notes About Me

I'm going to cheat a little today and post something I had already posted on Facebook (so anyone who has already seen it, please forgive me!)... but I thought it appropriate for this blog because it was not only an exercise in self-reflection, but also a challenge to reach out beyond myself and share. It's also feeding my growing need to connect with other people, and that is generally a two-way street so I'd better start opening up.

So without further ado, here are 25 random notes about me:

1. When it comes to making friends, it takes me a while to warm up and feel comfortable enough to open up.
2. I have an extremely hard time asking for help, even if I desperately need it.
3. I snap backwards...can't do it any other way.
4. I am a recovering perfectionist...took me a long time to admit that it's okay not to be perfect, and that things are worth trying even if I won't do them well. I'm still working on that.
5. I dream of becoming a writer.
6. I am more a listener than a talker, sometimes to a fault.
7. It doesn't take much to get me motivated...just one compliment is enough to get me going.
8. I'm dying for the kind of friend who can just drop by for some wine or a beer on the front porch and chat.
9. I'm a die hard fan of Food Network and HGTV; until the baby came along, one or the other was usually on the TV at any given time. Though Caroline does enjoy Food Network, too. :)
10. I'd be a terrible debater; if I have a problem with someone, I tend to argue it out in my head to the point where the other person wins.
11. I love to cook, and to experiment with recipes; I sometimes even put on mini Food Network shows for my daughter while I'm cooking dinner. (See #9)
12. I hate confrontation, and try to avoid it at all costs.
13. I'm a big do-it-yourselfer. I can wire an outlet, sweat pipe, frame out a room, install a door, lay tile...and the list goes on.
14. My mind is wired for organization. I love trying to figure out the best way to organize things, and I love flipping through catalogs of organizing "tools."
15. I love to read, but haven't had much time for it lately.
16. I've never smoked, never wanted to, never will...and it really grosses me out. I'm sure it's at least partly connected to a childhood of smoke-filled car rides and cleaning dirty ashtrays. YUCK.
17. I am a big-time procrastinator, and thrive on it...I was one of those kids in school who pulled an all-nighter to write that paper the night before it was due. And got an A.
18. I've always wanted to learn to play the piano. Or the guitar. But I CAN play the flute and the oboe.
19. I ran a marathon once, and would like to be able to do it again.
20. I have a fantasy of someday having the wherewithal to summer with the family in the south of France, or Tuscany, or Santorini...immerse myself in the people and culture, and just WRITE.
21. I played softball, volleyball and basketball in middle school, but dumped them all in high school to join the theater group. No regrets...I was a painfully shy child, and theater is what helped me come out of my shell.
22. As much as I wish it didn't, it matters what people think of me.
23. Growing up, my family was very reserved, and I still have a hard time expressing my feelings and showing affection. It's getting better, and with Caroline it is really easy, but when it comes to other people it takes a conscious effort.
24. I am highly critical of myself (can you tell?).
25. I am named after the actress Stephanie Powers, because of a pact made between my mom and aunt. I was originally going to be named Jennifer Rebecca...until auntie reminded my mom of that pact. I'm actually thankful for that -- there were a TON of Jennifers in my classes growing up!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Into the Belly of the Beast...and Lived to Tell the Tale

Tonight, I stared straight into the face of some of my worst cravings...and laughed.

Ha, ha, ha, cravings, I said. You won't get the best of me!

I must say, I am quite proud of myself. And in a way I know this post will seem kind of like bragging -- and I admit that well, it sort of is -- but I want it also to serve as a lesson for everyone that if you put your mind so something, and if you are really, really committed to it, then you CAN do it. I have been among the worst of sinners, and I have been saved. And so can you.

Tonight, I went for a much-needed "moms' night out" with some women in my Hip Mamas Meetup Group -- to Bacari Grill, an Italian bistro. (Excuse me, waiter... there are carbs all over my menu!) I don't think there could have been a worse place for me under my current eating plan, unless I had gone straight to Cold Stone Creamery for a Love It sized Chocolate Caramel Heaven in a waffle cone dish. Dipped in chocolate.

Despite the fact that there was more bread on the table than four of us could possibly eat even if we were carb-loading for a marathon, I did not partake. Instead, I helped myself to some grilled vegetables, hummus and olives from the antipasto plate -- which were delicious, and very satisfying. I ordered the peppercorn crusted tuna on soba noodles, and while I ate the entire piece of fish (again, delish!) I took only a portion of the soba more fitting of a serving size. Although the woman next to me had the chocolate lava cake for dessert, I ordered a lovely, hot cup of coffee and was very happy with that. In fact, the decadent desserts actually looked a little overwhelming to me (I think that having gone without sweets for even just three weeks, these kinds of things may actually be too sweet for me). I even had a glass of wine, between sips of which I drank water.

The best thing is, I didn't feel deprived at all. The biggest challenge was finding and making the right choices, and at the same time choosing my battles and accepting what compromises had to be made. Alas, they did not have skim milk and I can NOT drink my coffee black, so I decided that it was not a big deal. I used the full fat milk. (See, I'm not a complete angel!)

And as I have pointed out in previous entries, I don't have that heavy, gurgling, sluggish, stomach-achy feeling that I might have had I gone all out on this meal. I know that I probably could have even had a forkful of one of those decadent desserts and that would have been just fine. But I certainly didn't need to go hog-wild in order to feel happy and satiated, that is for sure.

Ha-ha, Temptation -- take THAT!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Want a Jumperoo!

As I've been sitting here, lamenting the fact that I have not yet been able to get my body in motion as part of my new, healthy lifestyle, I noticed my daughter in her Jumperoo, bouncing herself into a state of laughing and babbling glee. Oh, how well she is going to nap this afternoon!

Then I realized that I have been going about this whole exercise thing all wrong. I keep thinking of exercise as a regulated, regimented thing that I have to drag my butt out of bed to do, involving some kind of video or TV program, or a trip to the gym. Clearly, that has not been working for me.

Looking at Caroline jumping away, I can't help but think how fun it might be to have one of those Jumperoos, adult-sized, for myself. Of course I'd look pretty ridiculous -- and where the heck would I put it? -- but the heart of what I am thinking isn't all that crazy. Remember how much fun it was to just play? A game of tag, jumping rope, hopscotch, or even just spinning around until you got dizzy and fell down -- these were a BLAST, and we didn't have an inkling that we were actually getting exercise. I think that is the best possible approach to exercise.

Now, I haven't been completely inactive: for a few weeks now, I have been playing a weekly game of basketball with some friends at the local middle school. It has been enormously fun, despite the fact that my lungs are burning from about ten minutes in... and, go figure, I've gotten an hour of heavy exercise in each week without blinking an eye. I look forward to it every week.

I do realize that there will probably be some forms of exercise that are necessary and might not be entirely enjoyable, but with more fun-based activities as the core of my routine (oops, there's that word again) it could be far more tolerable.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Changes

It's funny, I used to think that I was a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of gal. I used to pride myself on it. It took me until the ripe age of 35 to realize that I am anything but. I like structure; I like having a plan, a routine; in fact, I thrive on that. This can work well, to a point. If taken too much to the extreme, I've found, my routine can turn into a rut.

Whatever the reason, I realize that I have spent a very long time fighting change. I make countless lists: projects that need to get done, bills to be paid, schedules for chores, menus, grocery lists, you name it. I am obsessive about our finances, creating and recreating our budget into infinity; admittedly, I used to check our bank account balance several times a day. I have spent a huge amount of time in the pursuit of control... and I tend to freak out when something happens to upset the delicate illusion of said control that I have created for myself.

So, I entered into this new way of eating, this healthy lifestyle, in much the same way I have approached virtually every other area of my life: with a plan. And a set of rules that I created for myself that was above and beyond what was already laid out for me. In some ways, the plan has worked; it got me this far. But in other ways, it has backfired miserably. For the past few days, although I have not strayed from the Beach, I have felt largely demotivated. Not all that interested in the eating plan I've been working so hard on. Like I was walking on a treadmill, going nowhere. In a rut.

Note that a lot of what I have said so far has been "I" have done this, "I" have done that... for "myself." In all of my hard work to create a routine, to maintain control, to be perfect (oh, a whole other can of worms, which I will expand on another time), I have succeeded in isolating myself. I have become an island. This, incidentally, is not the first time this observation has been made; it has appeared on more than one report card and at least a couple of (ahem) work performance reviews. But it is probably the first time I've admitted it to more than just myself and Dave.

But slowly, over the past few days, I have been receiving more and more response to this blog -- all very positive -- and I have to say that it has touched me, and helped me to realize that there has been something very big missing from my approach: sharing -- truly sharing -- my experience with others, and accepting their support and feedback. It really is amazing how energizing, how reinvigorating, that can be. I have for so long avoided reaching out, I suppose because the more people I involve in my life the less "control" I have over it (yes, I realize how ridiculous that probably sounds), but it's very clear to me now how much I've been missing out.

I don't know, maybe somewhere inside there IS a "fly by the seat of my pants" personality fighting to get out. That could explain why a routine that for a time was feeling right would come to a point where it felt so wrong. And maybe, after nearly six months with an infant in the house, the concept of chaos has become less frightening.

But I do know that allowing others into my life to experience the changes with me has turned out to be far less scary than I thought.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I Stripped My Way Through College

Well, no, I didn't...but I got your attention now, didn't I? Actually, I was in the city yesterday and happened to notice this guy walking along the sidewalk with a big thought cloud over his head that said "I stripped my way through college." No joke, it's true -- undoubtedly part of some very interesting ad campaign (it was a cut-out of a thought cloud mounted to a post that was strapped to the guy's chest), though by the time I could see the flip side of the thought cloud I couldn't make out the name of the company or campaign.

My first thought was Wow, I WISH I'd had the body to strip my way through college. Then I thought that actually, what I really wished was that I had the body image to be able to do that. Then I saw another guy with a thought cloud over his head that said: "I think that I am ugly." That really got me thinking... body image is such an interesting thing. There are a lot of things about my body that I am not happy with; I can think of ten things easy, right off the top of my head. But Dave, my husband, will look at me like I've got two heads if I mention any of them: "What do you mean? I think you look great." (Of course, one might say he is playing exactly the right card when faced with such a loaded comment.)

My point, though, is that body image is such a subjective thing. Why is it that when we look at ourselves, it is like looking into a fun house mirror? The image is completely distorted, and nothing like what the person standing next to us sees when he or she looks at us. And why, I wonder, does that body image have to be so closely tied to weight, or to fitting into size xyz pants? Distorted body image is what drives so many of us to crash diet, imbibe all sorts of "miracle" weight-loss concoctions, and at its worst is at the heart of depression, anorexia, bulimia and a host of other disorders. None of which is healthy.

Now, I can't change everyone's opinion of their own bodies, or how they choose to deal with it... but I can change my own. For my own sake, and for that of my daughter. More than the weight, more than fitting into those size 6 (or, dare I say it, size 4?) jeans, more than even eliminating the spare tire around my belly or the jiggle in my arms, I want to learn to feel as confident in my body as I imagine a stripper might. And I want to feel that way regardless of whether I "fix" any of the things I currently see "wrong" with my body. I want to feel that way because I am healthy, and active, and strong, and content. To do this, it's going to take more than simply changing my eating habits and exercising. It's going to take some real introspection, and a lot of mental work.

So for me, "Walking the Beach" is taking on more meaning than I originally thought. While I will continue to muse about my food choices and building healthy habits, I see it also becoming a journey of self-discovery that I didn't exactly anticipate. I am excited to see where it will take me!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Making Lemonade

We all know the saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Well, it turns out that the same holds true in cooking.

Over the weekend, I had decided to try a recipe for a tomato and roasted red pepper soup. I love tomato soup, it's cold outside, and virtually nothing in a can is legal on the Beach. So I made the recipe, and Dave and I had it for lunch the same day. Not good. The texture was all off, it was a bit tart, and not at all creamy like tomato soup should be. I was sorely disappointed. I put the leftovers in the fridge, hoping beyond hope that something magical would happen and that pumpkin would turn into a carriage... or something like that. But I'm mixing my metaphors.

Fast forward to today. Caroline and I came home late from a play date and some grocery shopping, and I was in need of a really quick and easy -- and yes, healthy -- meal for dinner. I had chicken defrosted and ready in the fridge, I'd brought home some whole wheat pasta from the grocery store (legal now that I'm in Phase 2)...but what else? Open the fridge, and what is sitting right in front of me but the container of "soup" just begging for a second chance. This time, however, its role would not be soup, but... sauce. I grilled up the chicken in a pan, mixed some grated romano and parmesan cheeses into the sauce, and poured it in. Some low fat mozzerella on top, and voila: chicken parmesan with a roasted red pepper twist.

Let me tell you, that was some damn good lemonade.

Monday, January 12, 2009

My Opponent, the Stress Monster

Wow. Today, the Stress Monster blindsided me and ran me over like a Mack truck. I simply could not get ahead of it, no matter how hard I tried. The funny thing is, I spent most of yesterday working my butt off to get laundry done, the house straightened, meals pre-cooked and veggies washed and prepped... just so that I would feel prepared going into today. And somehow, it completely backfired. I was overwhelmed from the minute I woke up, and only now -- at eleven o'clock at night -- do I finally feel it has relatively eased up.

I'm not sure what exactly caused it... Did I burn myself out yesterday, trying to get ahead? Is it hormonal (yes, turns out it's "that time of the month")? Was it dehydration, because I didn't drink nearly as much water yesterday as I had gotten into the habit of drinking? Or maybe it was a manifestation of anxiety over a play date I had planned for this afternoon, with several women I've never met before? It could be a combination of all of these things.

Whatever the cause, I decided to take control over the things that I have the power to control: drink that water, and ease into the next phase of the program by adding whole grains and fruits back into my diet. Maybe the stress was a sign from my body that it is ready to move on. My cravings are well under control (I got through today's play date without so much as salivating over the buffet of sweet treats at my fingertips...heck, I even brought the Munchkins and I didn't eat one); now I want to be sure that I am not depriving my body of too much, for too long.

The other thing I need to do: get exercise. I need to get moving. I need to find a way to work it into my already crazy schedule, or I may go insane. If there are two things the Stress Monster hates, it's healthy eating and exercise. I've focused a great deal of time and energy on one, and have not been working the other equally. No wonder I was blindsided. If I don't keep both gloves up, I get smacked in the head.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Phase I, Day 11

B: 2 poached eggs on 1 pc Canadian bacon & 1 Morningstar sausage patty w/mock hollandaise, 6oz V8, coffee

S: sliced peppers w/hummus, 1C ff milk

L: tomato & roasted red pepper soup, leftover slices of Mediterranean Chicken

S: 1 wedge Laughing Cow Light (garlic & herb) on a celery stick

D: leftover Tofu Alfredo w/Shrimp over butternut squash, caffeine-free diet coke

S: 1 Magical Peanut Butter Cookie, 1C ff milk

Water: 5 glasses (ugh)
Exercise: None.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Eating on the Run: A Lesson in Preparedness

Wow, I can't believe that I've only got four more days to go in Phase I! By now, I've really got a handle on the carbs... cravings have for the most part been nonexistent. Today, despite the fact that it was snowing, Dave and I ventured out to the mall with the baby...and ultimately spent over FOUR HOURS there. I had not expected to be out nearly that long, and had eaten my first snack right before heading out the door. Two hours later, were were only halfway done with what we had planned to accomplish, and all of us were hungry. So, off to the dreaded *food court* we went. I ended up with a salad from Subway, which turned out to be really good - and I was even able to get packets of oil and vinegar on the side, which helped tremendously! I thoroughly enjoyed the salad, the entire time eating in the shadow of McDonald's, Taco Bell, Chik Fil A, Nathans, and some really greasy "Japanese" place (since when is Bourbon Chicken a Japanese dish?). I'm very proud of myself! Even Dave opted for a Subway sandwich, instead of his usual mall choice: that Japanese Bourbon Chicken. :)

While I thought I was prepared by bringing a bottle of water with me, I now know that I really should always keep some snacks handy to throw in my bag, as well. You never know when you might find yourself out of the house far longer than you had planned!

Phase I, Day 10

B: 2 poached eggs, 2 pieces Canadian bacon topped w/mock hollandaise, 6oz V8, coffee

S: ½C Greek yogurt w/½T natural peanut butter & 1 Splenda

L: Subway salad w/turkey breast, lettuce, green peppers, red onion, jalapeno & tomato, topped w/2T olive/canola & red vinegar, diet coke

S: lf string cheese

D: Mediterranean Chicken Tacos (in bibb lettuce) w/red cabbage, roasted red peppers, grilled red onions, and dollop of "sauce" (Greek yogurt, red peppers, cucumber, garlic, lemon zest, cumin), caffeine-free diet coke

S: 1 Magical Peanut Butter Cookie, 1C ff milk

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Joy of Soy!

I would venture to say that Dave and I are fairly progressive when it comes to soy. We drink soy milk (and when I say "we" I really mean "Dave"). I cook with soy milk. We eat soybeans (we prefer to call them edamame...we're crazy like that). We even eat miso soup, complete with the little chunks of tofu floating in it (okay, it took me a few years to actually eat those little chunks of tofu, but I actually kinda like them).

We had not, until now, experimented with actual tofu. You know, the packaged block of white stuff you can find in the refrigerated produce area in the supermarket. It really intimidated me! But tonight, I had a recipe for Tofu Alfredo Sauce, which called for "silken" tofu in place of cream.

Oh. My. God. First of all, it couldn't have been easier to make. Second, it tasted just like the artery-clogging alfredo sauce that (in a past life) I would have been dunking my unlimited breadsticks in at Olive Garden. I had it with shrimp over butternut squash -- it was delicious, filling, and seemed absolutely sinful. I really felt like I had cheated! But I only ingested about 400 calories and 15 grams of fat (NO saturated fat) in that entire meal. I don't even want to think about what the real thing would have cost me.

And that, to me, is the joy of soy.

Phase I, Day 9

Phase I, Day 9.

B: 1 MorningStar sausage patty, 1 poached egg w/mock hollandaise (yum!), V8, coffee

S: ½ C Fage ff plain yogurt w/½T natural peanut butter and 1 Splenda packet

L: turkey roll-up w/lf string cheese, tomato, lettuce, 1T lf cilantro-wasabi mayo; salad w/Salad Spritzer (Asian Silk)

S: 1oz lf cheddar cheese

D: Shrimp and Tofu Alfredo Sauce (double yum!) over butternut squash

S: 1 Magical Peanut Butter Cookie and 1C ff milk

Water: 8 glasses.
Exercise: None.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Fast Food vs. A Quick Meal

So much for being prepared: my meal plan for the week got really screwed up for several reasons, and by tonight I was caught completely unprepared for dinner. We also had to run a couple of errands in the evening before dinner, and in the process I was left a little frazzled...and still without an idea for dinner.

The way I felt by the time we were heading home tonight, pre-South Beach I would have easily caved and stopped for fast food. Instead, we took a detour to the grocery store for a couple of items and were able to put together a reasonable, quick meal when we got home.

So why, I wonder, do we tend to think that picking up some "fast food" is a good idea? It's virtually nutrition-less (sorry...it's got lots of fat and refined carbs, which is technically considered nutrition. The more PC phrase would be "good-nutrition-less"); at least half the time you go through the drive-thru you end up getting home to find you are missing items from your order (and usually it's the one thing you really, really wanted); and by the time you've left the house, gotten in the car, driven to the restaurant (I use that term loosely), waited in the drive-thru or on line inside, and gotten back home, you could have thrown together something really simple and easy...and lots more healthy. In my opinion, the only thing fast about fast food is the onset of regret.

I do understand the draw...the food feels pretty good on the way down. (Oh, those wonderful, salty, crisp-on-the-outside-but-buttery-soft-on-the-inside french fries...) But when you consider that when all is said and done, we spend a total of maybe 2 hours a day eating, and the other 22 hours paying for it, which would you choose: the few minutes of evil edible bliss followed by hours of sluggish, bloated hell...or the same few minutes eating something nourishing and nutritious followed by hours of energy, productivity and overall contentedness?

I'm voting for option #2. Life's too short to spend it on the sofa in a fast food coma.

Phase I, Day 8

B: 1 hard boiled egg, 2 slices turkey bacon, 6oz V8, coffee

S: 30 pistachios

L: leftovers - sirloin patty, zucchini w/tomato sauce, fauxtatoes & green beans

S: sliced green peppers & hummus

D: turkey salad (turkey, 2T lf mayo, diced onion & celery), tomato & roasted red pepper soup

S: Magical Peanut Butter Cookie, 1C ff milk

Water: 6 glasses.
Exercise: None.

The Power of the Smorg

I just had a lunch that reminded me of one of the major guns in my diet arsenal: the Smorg. I recently noticed that Dave and I have been using this term for quite some time without really thinking about it. The concept is simple, straightforward, and not in the least new or unique. Basically, a Smorg consists of a compilation of any and all leftovers from the fridge into a single meal. For me, the Smorg is mostly vegetable-based, but it packs in one meal the variety of flavors, textures and aromas of a week's worth of meals! You can throw zucchini marinara, fauxtatoes and green beans over a leftover hamburger (lean, of course, as I did today), or mix your cajun-spiced pork with leftover chicken soup over cold soba noodles. There are no rules for Smorging: anything in the fridge (or pantry, even) is fair game. This keeps things interesting, gives your taste buds a jolt, and can subtly (or significantly) change the original palette of the foods, as they were individually. It instantly creates variety and cleans out your refrigerator at the same time.

Smorg is totally versatile for use as virtually any part of speech: We can Smorg it up (verb); break out the Smorg (noun); say "that's so Smorg!" (adjective) or "that was Smorg-alicious!" (also an adjective). And, best of all, the Smorg is very...filling. I'm stuffed!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Phase I, Day 7

Starting Weight: 155
Today's Weight: 152
Goal Weight: 125

I don't know if it's worth posting my daily food diary, but I started so I'm going to keep it up for the sake of continuity. Or maybe I just want others to suffer from boredom...

Don't worry, you can always skip the posts titled by phase and day number, and I will probably only post the diaries through the end of Phase I.

B: Egg McNuthin' - 1 Morningstar veggie "sausage" patty topped w/1 slice lf American cheese and a poached egg, V8, coffee (ff half n half & splenda)

S: sliced veggies (cucumber, red & green peppers) and hummus

L: leftover Southwestern Taco Chicken "soup" (I made it with extra water)

S: 1oz lf cheddar cheese

D: 96% lean sirloin patty, fauxtatoes, grilled mushrooms & onions, 1 wedge laughing cow light cheese (garlic & herb)

S: one Magical Peanut Butter Cookie, 1C ff milk

Water: 8 glasses.
Exercise: None.

Closing with a Little Bit of Magic

Well, I am putting another successful day on the Beach to bed. It was a bit on the stressful side today: the baby was fussy (possibly teething), I had a pressing deadline for work, and the dishes were overflowing the sink. By the time five o'clock rolled around, I was working on a lovely little headache. I'm not sure if the headache was caused by the stress, or by dehydration; I hadn't had much water through the day, and I had started out parched. I've power-chugged 48 ounces of water since dinnertime... should be a fun overnight.

But for now, I'm basking in the afterglow of a true miracle moment. Tonight, I -- while on a "diet" -- ate a cookie. Yes, I know... you all probably think that cookies are verboten on a diet. Well, thanks to Paula Deen that myth has been busted! I happened to catch Paula demonstrating the recipe for her Magical Peanut Butter Cookies yesterday while I was working (yes, I keep Food Network on TV in the background while I work... it's not like it's torture, or distracting, or anything). The recipe only calls for peanut butter, Splenda, one egg, and some vanilla. It's sugar-free, gluten free, and LEGAL for all phases of South Beach, and only takes about 15 minutes to make from start through bake. Yes, I probably could have just eaten a dollop of PB on a spoon... but then I would be missing out on the crumbly, sweet goodness that is COOKIE. With milk. Sweet dreams!

Halfway There...

I'm halfway through Phase I! Dave commented this morning that I have so far survived, but I have to say that I've more than survived: I've thrived. Other than one passing thought about how good a french fry would taste, I have not really craved anything "bad." I feel really good about the choices I am making, knowing that they will make all the difference in my health, appearance and mood. I am proud that I was able to create a plan and really be prepared going in, and I know that helped me to succeed so far. And…I've lost 3 pounds so far! Now, while I am tracking my weight and have a "goal" weight, I am not going to judge my progress completely by that. My true goal is to be healthy and fit - and I know that the scale can lie. How I feel, emotionally and physically, is going to weigh in so much more than how much I actually weigh.

Phase I, Day 6

January 6, 2009

Today, I actually had to leave the house for work (I work from home), and I went prepared: I packed two legal snacks and a lunch of leftovers along with a bottle of water in my lunch bag. It worked really well. When I got home, I had another small snack while waiting for dinnertime, and it held me over nicely.

I did experience one stress trigger today, where there was a bit of tension between me and Dave, and I immediately started thinking how good some McDonalds french fries would taste at that moment. It was really interesting, almost like an out of body experience, because although I could hear myself thinking that (very illegal) thought, there was a much bigger part of me that knew that I wasn't going to do it…that I didn't even really WANT to do it.

And…I played BASKETBALL tonight with some of the ladies in town! An entire hour of nonstop motion! It kicked my BUTT…but oh, it feels so good to get active, and especially to have the opportunity to "hang with the girls" while doing it. It's entirely satisfying.

B: 1.5oz smoked salmon w/laughing cow light cheese (garlic & herb) wrapped around a cucumber spear, V8, coffee

S: 30 pistachios

L: leftover turkey meatloaf and 1C broccoli

S: ½ C. cottage cheese w/cinnamon & splenda, 1oz lf cheddar cheese

D: leftover Southwestern Taco Chicken w/avocado & 1T lf sour cream, salad w/Salad Spritzer

S: 1 C. ff milk

Water: 10 glasses!
Exercise: 1 hour basketball!

Phase I, Day 5

January 5, 2009

I really can't believe how good I've felt these past few days. I have truly not felt this good in a very long time. I don't know if I can chalk it up to healthy eating so soon, or if I've simply psyched myself up, but I don't care! Maybe it's just the fact that I am finally taking control over something in my life. I've attacked a problem head-on, rather than complain about it, and I feel like I've already succeeded simply by trying. It's so empowering…even addicting! I'm becoming an active participant in my own life again, and I don't…want…to…go…back.

As far as South Beach goes, I'm really cruising along. I have completely blown our grocery budget for the month getting set up, but it's worth it and I know it will even out over the long term. And I have to give a double-thumbs-up: I tried the Fage nonfat greek yogurt with a spoonful of natural peanut butter and a packet of Splenda (thanks to cl-cathy!), and it's REALLY GOOD! I've never had the Fage before, and I absolutely love the texture - it's so thick and rich, it's like I'm eating mascarpone cheese!

B: 1 hard-boiled egg w/spritz of Smart Balance, 2 pieces turkey bacon, 6oz V8, coffee

S: 6oz Fage nonfat yogurt w/1T natural peanut butter and 1 package Splenda

L: 2 turkey roll-ups (one w/string cheese and one w/a pickle) w/cilantro-wasabi mayonnaise (canola mayo), small salad with Caesar Salad Spritzer

S: sliced peppers w/2T hummus, 1oz lf cheddar cheese

D: turkey meatloaf (doctored to be phase one friendly), broccoli

S: mocha ricotta creme

Water: 8 glasses
Exercise: None.

Phase I, Day 4

January 4, 2009

I'm really loving that I've got a fully stocked fridge - this morning, I was able to "wing it" for breakfast with no effort at all! I know it is only day four, but I have yet to feel that I am compromising, or stretching to figure out what to eat. I also finally got to buy a scale, and will be checking in on my weight weekly. I think I would drive myself completely nuts if I were to weigh in daily; weekly will give me a better sense of my progress and even out those ups and downs. I weighed myself this morning, and it looks like I lost one pound since my last weight check prior to starting the Beach. Yay!

B: 2 eggs scrambled with a dollop of ff half n' half, chopped mushrooms and one wedge laughing cow light (garlic and herb), 6oz V8, coffee

S: 30 pistachios

L: Leftovers - spice-rubbed pork tenderloin, fauxtatoes, green beans and brussels sprouts

S: 1oz lf cheese

D: Southwest taco chicken w/1T lf sour cream and 1/3 avocado

S: nonfat, decaf, sugar-free vanilla latte

Water: 7 glasses.
Exercise: None.

Phase I, Day 3.

January 3, 2009

Day three began with a slow start… Caroline was up at 7am and I had a rough time putting her back down. I finally caved and gave her a 4oz bottle, then brought her into bed with us. Eventually she dozed off and we slept in until almost 10am. It's now after noon and I am still in my pajamas (not very Flylady of me, but that's not the program I'm focusing on right now!). Today I really need to sit down and put a meal plan to paper - something to take us through until Friday. If I don't, I'm going to have a hard time. That's my goal for today. That, and getting showered and dressed.

B: 2 poached eggs with 2 pieces Canadian bacon, 6oz V8, coffee

S: 1oz lf cheese

L: chopped salad - romaine, tomato, cucumber, mushrooms, peppers, chick peas and chicken with Caesar Salad Spritzer

S: red & green peppers with 2T hummus

D: dijon-marinated turkey cutlet, brussels sprouts, french onion soup w/pinch of lf shredded mozzarella

S: mocha ricotta creme

Water: 6 glasses.
Exercise: None.

Meal Plan for the Week
Sunday: Southwestern Taco Chicken over spaghetti squash
Monday: Turkey Meatloaf w/veggies
Tuesday: Chicken Soup
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday: Chili
Friday: Mediterranean Fish Tacos (lettuce wrapped for me)
Saturday: tbd

I have to say, I've been in a pretty good mood today. Stress was low, I didn't starve, and I felt no urge to cheat. So far, so good!

Phase I, Day 2

January 2, 2009

After getting off to a good start on day one, today was a little trickier. We spent the day with Dave's family - mom, dad, Jen, Vinnie and the kids. I did my best to be prepared by putting together a few Beach-friendly snacks, because I had no idea what would be awaiting me at the in-laws' house. I also knew that we would be going out to dinner, which I was very nervous about since this is only day two for me - and the temptation would be all around me. I have to say, though, that I did really well, and I think I made some reasonably good choices given the options. My family was also supportive (minus the fact that they were eating all sorts of goodies around me, but I don't think it would be fair to ask them not to), asking what I can or can't eat. Dad went out and picked up some cold-cuts and other makings for sandwiches for lunch, and I was able to make up a couple of roll-ups (sans bread) and a little mixed green salad on the side. We all went out to a Mediterranean restaurant for dinner, and I think I made some good choices. I was a bit disappointed in the salad - it was basically akin to one of the prepackaged iceberg lettuce mixes (and it had some shredded carrots in it, oh well). And everyone of course had to order some decadent desserts, while I stuck with coffee. I have to say, though, I left that restaurant feeling proud of myself and NOT feeling all bloated and uncomfortable as I would have if I'd had the tiramisu. :) All in all, not a bad day.

B: 2 poached eggs and 2 pieces Canadian bacon, 6oz V8, ½ cup coffee

S: sliced red & green peppers with 2T hummus

L: 2 turkey roll-ups (one with a string cheese) with tomato, spinach, pickle and deli mustard, mixed greens with a splash of lite Caesar dressing

S: 12 almonds, rest of red & green peppers with laughing cow light cheese

D: hummus, babaganoush appetizers with cucumbers and tomatoes for dipping, salad w/5 jumbo grilled shrimp and 4t vinagrette dressing, 1T yogurt dipping sauce, diet coke

S: 2 cups coffee.

Water: 7-8 glasses? I lost count.
Exercise: None

Phase I, Day 1

January 1, 2009

I'm a little anxious about starting the South Beach Diet today. Okay, a lot anxious. While I'm excited at the prospect of feeling as good as I did the last time I was on the Beach, I'm so nervous that I am not going to be able to maintain the good habits that this plan is supposed to impart. With all of the stress of taking care of a new baby, keeping house, and working from home, I worry that I don't have the structure or stamina to keep this going. I know that I need to take this one day at a time, one meal at a time, and try not to be such a perfectionist…and I'm going to try to do that. So here I am at day one of Phase I of the program.

For the record, so that I have them written down somewhere, here are a few things that worked for me last time:
1. DRINK WATER. I must squeeze in at LEAST eight glasses (64 oz) of water every day. I cannot have a cup of coffee until I have had my first full eight ounces of water for the day. I need to drink at least one eight-ounce glass with each meal. And I must have at least one eight-ounce glass before bed.
2. MEAL PLAN. Making a meal plan for the week will help me stay on track, both with grocery shopping and with getting motivated to cook. I know that if I don't have a plan for dinner come dinnertime, I will NOT want to figure something out at the last minute and will fall back on takeout.
3. BE PREPARED. I need to have a well-stocked fridge and pantry, so that I have plenty of options at my disposal at any given time. I also need to wash and prep all fresh vegetables as soon as I bring them into the house - again, if I have to do the work to prep the veggies at mealtime, I will be less inclined to do it.
4. CREATE VARIETY. If I have to eat eggs every day for breakfast…or grilled chicken every night at dinner, I will not last. I need to continuously look for new ideas for meals and snacks, and keep that information on hand in an easy-to-use format so that I always have them at my fingertips.

B: 1 poached egg, 2 pieces canadian bacon, 6oz V8, coffee

S: 15 almonds, red pepper slices with salsa

L: turkey roll-up, zucchini in tomato sauce, coffee

S: 1 oz laughing cow light on celery stalks; 1 oz lf cheddar cheese

D: spice-rubbed roasted pork tenderloin, fauxtatoes, green beans

S: chocolate espresso ricotta creme

Water: 8 glasses!
Exercise: 30 mins yoga

All in all, today went pretty well. I stayed right on track eating-wise, though I did have some cravings and felt a little crabby come dinnertime. My husband, who agreed to do a "modified" version of South Beach with me, snacked on three granola bars and some chocolate-filled cereal squares before I asked him to stop - it was more than a little insensitive, and certainly didn't help with my cravings. But we got past it (he felt bad, apologized, and promised to be more considerate). I feel good that I've gotten through my first day unscathed, especially for a day where I wasn't particularly active or busy (we basically just laid around watching TV; a good way to spend the first day of the new year). I think I'll make up one of those ricotta cremes for dessert - that should satisfy me nicely. Onward!

Cruising on the Beach. South Beach, that is. The diet, that is.

Okay, I'm going to start by saying that I am a notoriously bad blogger. I have started two or three other blogs in the past three years or so, and have a total of ten blog postings between them. Yah, not good.

But this time I think it's going to be different. I have something meaningful (to me) and regularly updatable (yes, I know that's not a word) to blog about.

I've started the South Beach Diet. Again. Though I prefer to call it a "plan" or "lifestyle." I hate the fact that by putting the word "diet" in something, it's automatically considered bad, or a fad, or restrictive...or a cult. In fact, the word "diet" actually has a definition beyond how we as a society have come to understand it. Mirriam-Webster defines the word diet as:

1.a: food and drink regularly provided or consumed b: habitual nourishment c: the kind and amount of food prescribed for a person or animal for a special reason d: a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one's weight (going on a diet)
2: something provided or experienced repeatedly (a diet of Broadway shows and nightclubs)


Notice that the restrictive "diet" is last on the list of definitions pertaining to food. I don't plan to starve myself, or deprive myself. I have chosen to take two weeks, and two weeks only, to allow my body to clear out all of the carb clutter that I have packed into it over time and give myself a fresh start. Over the course of the next weeks and months, I intend to completely evolve my eating habits from the unhealthy (too much fast food, sugary snacks and fatty "comfort" foods) to the healthy (well balanced, low in fat, high in nutrition). South Beach has helped me learn to do that in the past, and I am betting it will do the same for me now.

Now, in the name of full disclosure, I'm already a week into this lifestyle as I write this post; I only today realized that it would be worth blogging about. So I will be retroactively posting my last seven days of entries throughout the day. By the end of today, I will have eight posts...only two shy of what I accomplished in the last three years!

Anyway, I hope that if anyone out there reads this, they will find my experiences helpful as they pursue their own path to a healthier lifestyle. Thanks for reading!